"Behind every beautiful thing there is some kind of pain."
-Bob Dylan
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Back to the start
*post from January 23 [taken from my tumblr account]
So I guess I should start from the beginning, oh boy. It’s kinda weird to think that all of this happened 7 months ago. I guess life is never certain and when you think you are going down one path, life is like well fuck your plans homie (pardon my french). I went from walking down the aisle at my college graduation to spending a week in a hospital. To make a very VERY long story short I was diagnosed with super powers! I kid I kid. I guess the best way to describe what I have is bone marrow failure. Because my body fails to produce red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets, I have been diagnosed with PNH and Aplastic Anemia (AA).
PNH stands for this crazy long medical term, Paroxysmal nocturnal hemoglobinuria. Yeah trying say that 5 times fast. PNH is a rare disease in which my red blood cells break down earlier than normal. Aplastic anemia occurs when the bone marrow is unable to increase production to make up for the premature destruction of red blood cells.
It is estimated that there are 8,000 to 10,000 people with PNH in North America and Western Europe. And with the population of North America being 344,124,450 you can see I am just a little tiny stat. Which is probably why you have never even heard of anyone having a rare blood disease. Because lets be real, I didn’t even think my disease was real.
I’m not trying to write a depressing, wanna go slit your wrists kind of blog. I just want to be able to express myself and now that I have a rare blood disease it has become a part of who I am. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want you to read my blog and feel sorry for me. I am a very strong willed individual and I know that one day I will be cured. But until then I know these are the cards that I’ve been dealt. And instead of being depressed about it, I’ve learned that the only way is to stay positive, eat whatever makes you happy (in moderation of course), spend as much time around people you love and remember that tomorrow is a new day :)
So I guess I should start from the beginning, oh boy. It’s kinda weird to think that all of this happened 7 months ago. I guess life is never certain and when you think you are going down one path, life is like well fuck your plans homie (pardon my french). I went from walking down the aisle at my college graduation to spending a week in a hospital. To make a very VERY long story short I was diagnosed with super powers! I kid I kid. I guess the best way to describe what I have is bone marrow failure. Because my body fails to produce red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets, I have been diagnosed with PNH and Aplastic Anemia (AA).
PNH stands for this crazy long medical term, Paroxysmal nocturnal hemoglobinuria. Yeah trying say that 5 times fast. PNH is a rare disease in which my red blood cells break down earlier than normal. Aplastic anemia occurs when the bone marrow is unable to increase production to make up for the premature destruction of red blood cells.
It is estimated that there are 8,000 to 10,000 people with PNH in North America and Western Europe. And with the population of North America being 344,124,450 you can see I am just a little tiny stat. Which is probably why you have never even heard of anyone having a rare blood disease. Because lets be real, I didn’t even think my disease was real.
I’m not trying to write a depressing, wanna go slit your wrists kind of blog. I just want to be able to express myself and now that I have a rare blood disease it has become a part of who I am. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want you to read my blog and feel sorry for me. I am a very strong willed individual and I know that one day I will be cured. But until then I know these are the cards that I’ve been dealt. And instead of being depressed about it, I’ve learned that the only way is to stay positive, eat whatever makes you happy (in moderation of course), spend as much time around people you love and remember that tomorrow is a new day :)
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
"Life is painful and messed up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that’s why we have to keep trying. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. Sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest. A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that’s why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living"
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